I saw men on numerous occassions shoot sperm as I passed, not an optunistic moment for me, but more timed to perfection by the performer for me to witness. Some holidays this was a daily viewing experience and admittedly, I wandered through the campsite, casually looking left and right and stopping long enough for these lost souls to finish their dirty deed. I was not alone in these short prominades. I used to pass girls of all ages doing exactly the same as me, some alone and some in small groups, standing outside a tent, watching the owner come to a conclusion then giggling off happy to have seen and inadvertably helped. I remember at a get-together being invited to sit on the lap of a friend of my mothers, around a table, where everyone sat eating and drinking and being boisterous. I was sitting with one leg either side of his, pulled up close and had his pubic hair on my bum and his penis lying lengthwise along my vagina. Looking down I could clearly see his enormous cock. Lesbians pray, but they pray to feminine ideals of God; some ancient barely remembered woman Goddess that helps them feel like they had a deity on our side. I had always thought God was a myth but tonight I was desperate. I needed to scream my wish to the universe. At first I tried to pray to Hecate, Isthar or Isis but I felt foolish. Dead Goddesses in hiding reminded me too much of myself. I couldn't pray to God as I felt the Patriarchal Overlord had no love for me. Perhaps as a modern woman I shouldn't have prayed at all but my grief was too strong. I had to turn to something.I looked deep in myself and these are the words I prayed:"Whomever listens to those in love or lust, please answer me. I love a woman who doesn't know me. I feel a consuming hunger for someone who would recoil at my touch. Please don't let this beautiful creature get married to a man and please help this pain in my heart just go away. Amen."I went to bed.For some reason I fell asleep in seconds. My dreams were.
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